FOR VICTIMS AND SURVIVORS SPECIAL CONCERNS OF VICTIMS Acquaintance/Date Rape In Arkansas, the law does not differentiate between acquaintance and stranger rape. Just because the rapist is known to the victim it does not mean that it is a less serious crime than if the rapist was a stranger. Approximately 75% of rapes are perpetrated by acquaintances. These rapes are often planned and deliberate. In date and acquaintance rape situations, victims know, and often trust, their attackers. In fact, there may have been consentual sex before. Rape is against the law even in cases when a woman knows her attacker, is on a date, or is in a relationship with the offender. Being forced into sex by someone you know IS rape. No matter how serious your relationship, no matter what you were doing or where you were at the time of the rape, the person who assaulted you is to blame. No one asks for violence or deserves to be raped. You may come to question your judgment about people and your trust in them. You may feel guilty that you should have seen some "warning signs." It's important to remember that no one can identify a potential rapist and that most rapists appear "normal." You may experience disbelief and rejection from friends and mutual acquaintances. This lack of support can make you feel isolated. Seek out those who can and will support you, such as an ORCC advocate. Friends and family may also benefit from talking with an advocate. You may feel hesitant to report the crime to the police. It is important to know that you are protected under Arkansas law; although, some acquaintance rape cases may be difficult to prosecute. If you have questions about your case, you may call the Prosecutor's Office and your ORCC advocate. Spouse/Significant Other Rape Rape committed by a spouse or significant other often occurs within the context of a greater web of violence. Domestic abuse or violence refers to mental (verbal and emotional), physical, and sexual abuse occurring within a family or close relationship. Each form of abuse is just as painful and significant as the other. Domestic violence is an intentional act used to gain power and control over another person. In the United States, 50% of all women will be victims of domestic violence or sexual assault at some point in their lives. If you are a victim of rape committed by a spouse or significant other, ORCC is available to help you. We will also provide referrals for more information and assistance with domestic violence issues. Domestic violence is a serious and often life-threatening pattern of violence. Remember: Being forced into sex by a spouse or significant other IS rape. You may be reluctant to report the rape to police. Although you are covered against rape by Arkansas law, spousal rape cases may be difficult to prosecute. Please contact ORCC, your women's shelter, and/or the prosecutor's office for further information on the legal aspects of spousal rape. Teenagers If you were forced into sexual activity against your will, a crime has been committed against you. What happened to you IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Regardless of who assaulted you--a stranger, someone you know, or even someone within your family. You are NOT to blame. If you are experiencing any of the following, remember that help is available. Recognizing a problem is the first step to finding a solution. You may have questions about your relationships and sexuality. You may have no previous sexual experience and have questions about what happened to you. You may have difficulty trusting others or knowing whom to trust. You may be tempted to use drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. Remember that drug and alcohol abuse provides only temporary relief. Ultimately, drug abuse causes more problems than it solves. You may experience panic attacks and flashbacks of the rape. You may have problems in school: difficulty concentrating, intrusive thoughts about the assault, not getting your work done on time, or a drop in grades. If classmates know about the rape, you may be faced with difficulties at school. You may see the rapist everyday at school. You may feel isolated and confused by your friends' reactions. You may act like you don't care. You may need medical attention for possible injuries, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Remember that there are people you can trust who can help--maybe another family member or friend of the family, an ORCC advocate, or a counselor. A rape crisis advocate is mandated by law to report child sexual abuse. Please consider seeking help. These are difficult issues to deal with on your own. Older Victims As an older victim, you may have thought that this could never happen to you. According to the National Victims Center, 61% of all rape victims are less than 18 years old; however, we know that persons of all ages are raped. It is important to recognize that sexual assaults are motivated by anger and power, not sexual gratification. Many survivors experience shame and embarrassment following a sexual assault. Remember that rape is not motivated by sexual desire, but is a violent crime that is acted out in a sexual manner. You may be feeling particularly vulnerable and unsafe right now. You may feel like limiting your activities, not leaving your home, or letting someone else take care of you. These are normal feelings, but talking about them with someone--a friend, counselor, or advocate may help you work through these concerns. A medical exam is important but may seem especially traumatic right now. You may be worried about money if you are on a fixed income. Remember that your expenses for the sexual assault exam can be paid for by the State of Arkansas if you report the crime within 48 hours. You may have concerns about telling your children and friends. It is your choice who to tell about the assault. Talking with a counselor or an advocate may help you to sort through your questions and feelings. Your children and friends may also benefit from talking to an ORCC advocate. Remember that you are not to blame for the assault. Even if you allowed someone entrance into your home, no one ever expects or deserves to be sexually assaulted. There are counselors who specialize in issues which may be of importance to you. Please contact ORCC for more information. Male Victims Because it is usually thought that rape happens only to women, you may be feeling alone and isolated. Many studies show that 1 in 7 men have been victims of rape, and men are most often raped by other men. You may also feel some of the same feelings that women do: guilt, powerlessness, and concern for your safety. These are all normal feelings. The information in this booklet applies to both male and female survivors of rape. Male rape victims often voice concerns about their masculinity and sexual identity. It may be difficult for a man to accept that he was vulnerable to rape. Male victims may believe that they allowed the rape to happen and therefore must be homosexual. The male victim's self-blame and fear of homosexuality often result in reluctance to seek help. It is important to remember that rape is an act of violence and is not sexually motivated. Male rape says nothing of the sexual orientation of the victim or the perpetrator. In fact, most perpetrators are heterosexual. Remember that you are not to blame. It may be helpful to seek counseling to talk about your emotions, fears, and concerns. Many men find it difficult to identify and express their emotions except for anger and aggression. It can be very therapeutic and healing to express your full range of emotions and seek out support for your feelings. ORCC is here to help you. Lesbians and Gay Men In addition to the many emotional responses to rape that all victims have, you may wonder whether the assault happened, because of your sexual orientation. Remember that most rapists do not have a particular victim in mind, but are looking for a target upon whom to take out their expressions of anger and power.

You may have very real concerns about disclosure of your sexual orientation. You may be concerned that your sexual identity and not the rape may become the focus of your treatment. You may worry that your disclosure will threaten your job and your possible support systems. Whether you choose to disclose or not, you have the right to the same sensitive treatment as any other victim of rape. You may be concerned about how your significant other and members of your community will react to what happened. For many, talking about rape with a counselor or ORCC advocate may ease this concern. Remember that all ORCC volunteers are screened for homophobia and will respond to your needs in a sensitive and ethical manner. It may also be helpful for your partner and close friends to talk to a counselor or an ORCC advocate. Persons with Disabilities You may be feeling particularly vulnerable and unsafe right now, like you've lost all your control and independence. Your self-confidence may be temporarily undermined. These are normal feelings, but talking about them to someone--a friend, counselor, or ORCC advocate--can be helpful. Other people, including caregivers, may believe myths about people with disabilities and treat you differently. Even at this time of difficulty, you may have to combat these myths by speaking up about your needs and concerns. You may have a variety of needs, with which counselors and ORCC advocates can assist. Adult Survivors Of Childhood Sexual Assault Recent statistics point to an extremely high incidence of childhood sexual abuse in our society. It is estimated that one out of three girls and one out of seven boys are thought to have been sexually assaulted as children. As with rape, this statistic is probably underestimated. Child sexual abuse is a term, which describes a range of behaviors including sexual contact or fondling, oral/genital contact, sexual exploitation, and sexual penetration of a child. This abuse is usually committed by an older person in a position of power and trust. Child sexual abuse perpetrators may be family members (parents, stepparents, siblings, uncles, etc.), friends of the family, or persons who are entrusted to care for the child (baby sitters, extra-curricular activity leaders, professionals, etc.). Most pedophiles (child molesters) are teenage or adult heterosexual males and come from all socioeconomic levels, religions, and ethnic backgrounds. If you are a survivor of childhood sexual assault, it is very important to understand that a child cannot make a knowledgeable and consenting decision to have sexual involvement with another person. Sexual abusers use their positions of authority, power, and trust to coerce and manipulate children and teens into sexual activity. They may offer gifts, extra attention, or coerce children by saying that the abuse is normal, required, or educational. Child sexual abuse perpetrators deliberately make their victims feel responsible for the abuse, and victims subsequently carry blame for many years. This self-blame can be very damaging, and it will help you to eventually realize that you were not responsible for the abuse. Sexual abuse can continue into adulthood, and it is important for the victim to understand that she or he is not to blame for the abuse. The power differential between the abuser and abused is still present and after years of sexual abuse any sexual activity with the perpetrator cannot be considered consensual. Childhood sexual abuse can have negative effects on a person's sense of self-control, body-image, self-worth, relationships, and sexuality. Victims may be at greater risk for difficulties such as depression, suicidal tendencies, substance abuse, and self-destructive behaviors. The consequences of childhood sexual abuse are extremely painful, and the added trauma of a rape can compound problems for the victim. Victims of rape who were also sexually abused as children may have additional concerns following a rape: The rape may trigger memories and flashbacks of childhood sexual abuse. Feelings of powerlessness may return. You may feel responsible for your victimization, especially if you have been victimized repeatedly. While it is true that childhood sexual assault survivors are at greater risk for re-victimization, it is extremely important to understand that you are not to blame. If you have worked through the impact of child sexual abuse, experiencing a rape may bring up painful memories and feelings. You may feel as though you are backsliding. A rape cannot take away from the healing that you have already accomplished, however, you may become aware of areas which need further attention and care. Many times a rape is the impetus for seeking help for childhood sexual abuse issues. Rape victims may begin by addressing the impact of the rape on their lives and then decide to strive for deeper healing by addressing the long-term effects of child sexual abuse. If you have urges to hurt yourself or if you are contemplating suicide, it is imperative to seek immediate help. Please seek counseling or call a crisis hotline. Resolution and healing from child sexual abuse is possible. Seeking counseling can help you heal from both rape and child sexual abuse. Counseling can help you change patterns which may cause you emotional pain, acknowledge and communicate your feelings, improve relationships and intimacy, and regain self-esteem and personal power. You may want to consider a support group to talk about your feelings with other survivors. Call ORCC for counseling referrals and for information about our support groups.